A Little Bit Of Honesty

Hullo there, fellow reader. So, I'm not entirely sure how well this is going to work but I guess we're going to find out, aren't we. If you're reading this, well, you've made it to what I had in mind to say.

So, I have to be honest. I haven't really been doing the best lately. Part of my lengthy absences & short bursts of activity have been because of work. For those that don't know, I 'ascended' to bar manager almost two years ago. For anyone that's done managerial or supervisory work, yes, it comes with all the headache that you can think of.

The other half is because lately, I've been in a persistent state of...I don't even know what to call it? Exhaustion? Depression? Apathy? I don't know. All I know is that things have been very exhausting as of late & it's impacted plenty of aspects of my life, including my...what do we go by now? Still Twitterponies? Mastodon Ponies? If anyone can enlighten me, by all means. All I know is that I play ponies on the internet...or at this point in time, used to.

The point being, I'm tired. So very tired. The kind of tired that is very hard to explain without things sounding a little dark. And it's hard to have inspiration & the will to play when almost every waking moment as of lately has been consumed by work, with no one seeming to get the concept that I need rest.

I want to be here. I want to contribute to this little world of colorful equines. There's still things that I'd like to do. But as of late, it's been very hard to find the energy to be here & it just keeps on feeding into this endless loop of wanting to rest, but feeling guilty about not being here, what I do post sounding uninspiring, realizing maybe I should rest, but feeling guilty....and so on.

I'm not writing this to throw a pity party or cause concern or anything. I just want to give an explanation for why there's so many unanswered messages, lack of responses to scenes & just overall not being here. It's because I'm just too tired. I want to be here, but I'm just too tired. Maybe even beyond tired, if there can be such a thing. There is, but....yeah.

The short version, for anyone reading & thinking 'get to the point, dang it!' is that my presence here will be reduced for the time being. I'll try to be here & contribute to things, but all I ask is for a little bit of patience. As someone that tries to do their best at work & tries to keep up & is told to try to find time to rest & for myself, and then when my days off come, I get back to back phone calls, calls to meetings & emails wanting/needing something time sensitive. Something that's been going on for almost two years.

Like I said, I'm tired.......